All the Shades of Grey

I wrote a piece about love quite a while back.

I am writing this as I fear that what I learned before I wrote that blog, I have not only forgotten and relearned but failed at it miserably in the process.

See sometimes I get an idea that certain elements of my life are not yet in order, and for some reason, an urge overcomes me to correct that flaw. This last happened when I asked God to teach me of love. He did, and it was uncomfortable and painful. I am a better man for it, but only so since the memory of the pain has become dull to my senses.

I have wondered about my ability to make truly great decisions. This matter perturbs me specifically when it comes to the spiritual. Choosing the real McCoy from the imitation. Distinguishing my season. Understanding the line between faith and recklessness. Learning when inaction is obedience and when it is laziness.

These are some of the matters that challenge me in my daily life. We have become so desensitised to the half-truths and limitations that we accept them for the real deal. Switchfoot has a great song about it called, ‘Selling the News’. A line in it captures my feeling precisely. ‘The lines start to blur I get so confused. I get shiny news models mixed up with the blues, I get binary code mixed up with abuse, the fact is there is simply one option to choose. If nothing is sacred there’s nothing to lose, if nothing is sacred all is consumed, we’re still on the air it must be the truth. We’re selling the news.’

The title is convenient as it fits the problem. We believe it’s ok to expose ourselves to the twisted truths designed by an enemy and believe it will not affect us. This only carries weight if we are the influencers and not the influenced. The Daniels and not the Solomons, the Josephs and not the Sauls.12-black-and-white-photography

So here I go, asking God to teach me discernment. To help me increase my capacity to distinguish truth from lie, deception from original design. What does He do? He leaves me to my own devices and makes every area of my life grey. It’s all hazy, misty and clogged up with the consequences of the only option to choose. I had lulled myself into believing that I am a good decision maker and capable of handling any situation.

My arrogance has been revealed to me. I realise now that without God’s direction and as Solomon says;‘In the LORD’s hand the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels toward all who please him.’ Without such direction, I am a lost little man.

It is a lesson I will most certainly need to repeat. I have found immense value in it none the less.

How do we live a life reflecting the power and love of our Father and Saviour in the murkiness of life, all the shades of grey with no black and white, with our integrity intact?

The fact is that we cannot. This is why we have been sent a helper, a councillor. This is why we live from a relationship with Christ.

Our ability to navigate all the grey with integrity is what the world will most value us for. It is also the thing they will never see lest we start living with a Godly discernment in our everyday walk.

May I give Him access to direct my heart so that he may water His vineyard through my obedience and willingness to surrender. May I learn to embrace the white shining light of my saviour and the thick darkness our loving Father dwells in and my I also realise that our God is not a God of confusion but of peace, not a God of grey, but of black and white. May we walk in a discernment that clears the smoke screen to reveal the twisted truths to the world, not to convince them of what is true, but to give them the opportunity to decide for themselves.

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